Fucked up state of mind ...
i dunno why today i am feeling real down ,
feels like life cannot fall anymore lower than this
Feels like i am the living dead..... just breathing cause my body needs air
not that i have any purpose in life but its just that i wonder if at all there is an after life?? If so why is there so much mystery surrounding its existance ...... there is a real thick cloud in my mind right now and i cannot see whats right form wrong !!! If only there were a restar button and i could go back to the begining of my time if only i could erase all the bad things that have now come back to haunt me !!!! Life is just not a game afterall ... but when ur a child everything seems fun nothing appears serious untill at a later stage it comes back to haunt u n u realise what a fool u had been @@@
I wanna disconnect myself for a while ..... just wanna sit in a place ..maybe an empty room and just reflect ... gather input for what i should do for the future ... or if atall there is any future ....
If death were easy i would choose it anyday ... but then what happens after ...... that thought keeps eating into my head ... wat if all this we have achieved is just temporary ... i have realised that Humans atleast most of em have no soul watsoever ..... so how can we possibly be bound for heaven no matter wat we do to please the lord !!!!
I am so confused i therefore rest my pen ..... as these pages may absorb the ink left in me !!!!!!!
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